Love Hate Passion Apathy Life Death
by Tabitha Jane
Summary: Tabitha was a Heyon clan member that was sent off to live with the sand trio, due to the fact that her entire clan was wiped off the face of the earth with no trace who they were killed by. She lost all of her memories from the past. What will come
1. FUll summary

**Full Summary: **

Tabitha was a Heyon clan member that was sent off to live with the sand trio, due to the fact that her entire clan was wiped off the face of the earth with no trace who they were killed by. After the incident she lost all her memories of the past. Her memories had been hidden away to the point that not even Ibiki could get into the recedes of her mind. After much deliberating with the council the 3rd Hokage sent her off to Suna to live with the legendary sand trio and the Kazeakage. After a year Gaara gets Tabitha to open up and he finds out that her nightmares may be something more. The grew closer over the next few years until the night his uncle tried to kill him. Tabitha tried to help and comfort Gaara but he turned her own memories and own trust in him against her. Gaara ran away that night and he took not only himself but her soul as well. Five years later she moves to Konoha with Kankuro & Temari. When Akatsuki takes interest in her what will come to be? Will she ever be able to understand why the things that happen, happen?

WARNINGS: Lemons; yaoi and yuri; Character Deaths; language; and much more.


	2. Chapter 1

**~Disclaimer~**

Roses are **R**ed  
Violets are **B**lue  
I don't own **N**aruto  
So you can't **S**ue =D

However, I do own Tabitha and any other ideas that aren't related to the anime.

* * *

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION: must read!!!!!!! DONT SKIP IT THIS MESSAGE DAMNIT!**

The next chapter wont come until I have at least 40 reviews. Write them. Even if you think it was crappy. This my very first time writing a story so give me all the advice you can! Flame me, or whatever you want just give me some kind of feedback.

~TJD41066~

* * *

_Tabitha's First Day  
Part 1_

Tabitha is a Heyon clan member that was sent off to live with the sand trio, due to the fact that her entire clan was wiped off the face of the earth with no trace who they were killed by. After the incident she lost all her memories of the past. Her memories had been hidden away to the point that not even Ibiki or Baki could get into the recedes of her mind. After much deliberating with the council the 3rd Hokage had been forced to send her off to Suna to live with the legendary sand trio and the Kazeakage. After a year Gaara gets Tabitha to open up and he finds out that her nightmares may be something more. The grew closer over the next few years until the night his uncle tried to kill him. Tabitha tried to help and comfort Gaara but he turned her own memories and own trust in him against her. Gaara ran away that night and he took not only himself but her soul as well. Five years later she moves to Konoha with Kankuro & Temari. When Akatsuki takes interest in her what will come to be? Will she ever be able to understand why the things that happen, happen?

WARNINGS: Lemons; yaoi and yuri; Character deaths; language; and much more.

* * *

Chapter One:

_Normal Pov:_

It was dark.

Not the scary dark that made you feel as if you were being watched. Not the kind of darkness that made you feel as if the shadows would morph into creatures and engulf you into darkness, That you felt scared and alone, You would feel that nobody would be there to help you. Not that kind of darkness.

The kind of darkness that makes you sigh and relax. Like laying out in a field of flowers looking up at the night sky. Staring into each and every star you would feel at peace thinking about the simplest of things. The things you would over look during the daily grind. The moon was missing behind a dark black cloud but when it finally peaked it's shining head out from behind that dark cloud the trees below it were shining from the rain. The dirt path was wet and down on that path were Three Ninjas.

The oldest out of the trio was a girl that had her sandy blond, straw hair up in 4 messy ponytails. She was wearing a uniform that showed off her curves. She had a bust, and the fabric fell in just the right spots to show off her hour-glass form_._ Her dark eyes were outlined in Mascara and eyeliner with sparkly black and white Eye-shadow that highlighted her dark Carmel eyes perfectly. Her cover-up was shaded nicely with her tan skin.

Temari is a master with wind, because of this she can nullify any thrown weapon. She is very quick on her feet, and is able to plan several steps ahead of her opponent. Temari's main weapon and the source of many of her Justus is her Iron fan. Despite its size and weight, Temari has no trouble lifting it with one hand and can use it as a club if need be**.** It can also be used by Temari to glide upon, using Wind she generates to keep it afloat. There are three circles on the fan and the more circles that are uncovered, the more powerful her Justus are. Her summon is Kamatari. Kamatari is a sickle wielding weasel that Temari summons using Whirlwind Dance.

Kamatari is able to create powerful cutting wind gusts that can level a forest in mere seconds. She is also able to use other main attacks. One such attack is Fuuton or Severing Pressure. This attack is a Ninjutsu and this traps the opponent in a small tornado. The vortex contains Wind chakra and can cut the opponent while he is trapped.

The middle child, who was walking in between the other two had purple make-up on. His muscles were clearly pronounced under his new school uniform. His dark brown hair looked like he had just gotten out of bed and he didn't have the cat hood he normally wore. His eyes were a light chocolate brown and even though being younger than Temari he was still the tallest person there. The top two buttons of his shirt were undone and his tie was slung over his shoulder lazily_._ On his back he had 3 medium size scrolls in which he had his three 'puppets' . He was was tall, dark and handsome, but because of his childish nature he wasn't the man of most woman's dreams.

Kankuro is very quick to act. Even the smallest of things set him off. He's a short-tempered ninja who uses poisoned filled puppets to kill his enemies_. _He hides poisoned blades in every compartment of the puppet, just in case the puppet becomes disassembled. He controls these puppets with special chakra strings, which he can cut at any time. Kankuro is very good at medium range attacks, but not so good at hand to hand combat. All you would need to do is sneak up on him from behind and attack. Hoping it him and not his puppet_  
_

Sanshouo means Salamander and is a defensive type puppet. It has various shield mechanisms on its body to block attacks. The inside of its body is also hollow and can allow Kankuro and two other persons to take cover inside. Kuroari means "Black Ant" and is a puppet with a cylindrical body cavity meant to trap and assassinate its targets. Its arms also are equipped with saw blades. Kuroari's torso can open up and envelop an enemy inside itself. Multiple slots along its body allow weapons to be plunged into them to puncture whoever is trapped inside. Karasu means "Crow" and is Kankuro's first puppet to use. It is an offensive puppet and has four arms in which are filled with weapon mechanisms. The body can also be separated and each controlled separately.

The oldest two siblings were eagerly chatting back and forth while they walked down the dirt path on the way to Konoha, happy that they had moved from Suna. During all of this Tabitha stopped and looked at a rose on a small green bush. Now to any passerby this wouldn't seem strange but this was most certainly was. Tabitha had noticed that it was the only rose on the entire bush. Now that she was on the subject,she had to admit it had been the only rose on this entire trip that she had seen. Roses were not only out of season but didn't grow in this area or on this type of bush. Not only that, it was a shade of blue that looked as if you could get lost by just looking into its color. It was a dark blue that looked almost black.

It reminded her of the sky and immediately she looked up to compare the two colors. They looked the same color. She picked it carefully off the bush and looked at it closely. It had tiny water droplets of dew from the rain that shimmered and shined in the moons light. The blue seamed to fit the rose so perfectly. "All roses should be this color" she said whispered to herself. This rose was so unique and different. _"It's a shame that everything good in this world seems to be tainted by pain and war."_ she sighed sadly at the thought but then the gears in her head were turning. "But then again..." she trailed off deep into her mind playing with the silver piercing on her tongue. She had the habit of doing this when something bothered her or when she was deep in thought. She glanced down at the flower that had caught her attention.

Slowly, she twirled it back and fourth, spreading its floral smell in the air around her. This smell, it was by far better than any other rose or flower she had ever smelled before. There was something about this rose that made her feel...different. Like she was the only thing on the earth. It had been a long time since she had felt like an individual in this war-filled world. And to think she felt all this from something as simple as a flower. It gave her confidence and strength that she never had noticed she had bubbling inside her. She was abruptly ripped from her thoughts as she heard Kankuro all but scream in her ears to hurry up. She groaned and hung her head. God how she hated acting like her life was fine even though she was completely hollow inside. She plastered a fake smile on her face and ran to catch up to the other two noticing they had left her behind. What she didn't see were the eyes that had been watching her every movement.

Three figures emerged from different points around the woods like a thick black smoke screen. All wearing black cloaks with red clouds along with straw hats, bells jingling as the men moved about. The shortest one spoke in a dark smooth voice. "We have found the target. Time to report." They nodded in some silent agreement and darted off in the opposite direction that Tabitha had went all thinking the same thing.

_"What next?"_

* * *

Before Tabitha had finally caught up to the other two she had hid the flower in her bag after carefully placing it in a scroll to keep it safe. This was quit a strange act, seeing she trusted them enough to put her life in their hands. Well Temari at least. Kankuro was just to thick to understand much. But she found it strange she couldn't show them a simple flower. This flower was just so....unique. There was something about it that made her feel special and for an odd reason she didn't want to tell anybody. Not even her closest friends. If that's what you'd call them.

"What the hell took you so long Tabitha?" Kankuro was flustered and judging by the smug look on Temari's face they had been arguing.

She froze. "I-I....had to....check if I had something. I thought I had forgotten it....." The anger washed away from his face and he arched an eyebrow like he didn't believe her. She looked away from him dropping her gaze to the ground so he couldn't see her eyes. After glaring a hole into her head trying to get an answer out of her he sighed and dropped the subject knowing she wouldn't give in. He turned back to Temari and they began talking and soon the three of them were on their way to their new school.

Tabitha wasn't really a member of their family but she had lived with them since she was 6 due to her family being killed along with her clan. Tabitha has a rare ability as did most children born into a clan of ninja. Her eyes changed color frequently due to her bloodline trait and at the moment they were a nice peach color and were outlined in black eyeliner. She usually never wore make-up but Temari talked her into wearing the eyeliner, just for today. Tabitha was a quite, soft spoken girl when she first met people but once she got to know you she would talk. As much as a girl like her would be able to talk that is.

Like most quiet people she loved reading. She enjoyed learning about new things. She love learning about other clans and expanding her knowledge about the different villages and Justus. She loved to connect with these writings and one she particularly loved was the tale of Madara Uchia. In fact she loved to read so much that back in Suna she had a giant book shelf in the Kazekage's library completely filled just from the books she bought with her own money. Of course Suna had a huge library but over the years she read every book that Suna had to offer. Not only the public library but the library inside of the Kazekage's manor as well, not to mention the files in his office.

Tabitha had just become a Chunin and had been training to become a Jounin in Suna, but had to leave with the other two due to some reason that the Kazekage had seen fit to send them to The leaf village. He didn't tell anyone what the reason was but she knew it had to do with Akatsuki or some other S-ranked threat. He was just trying to protect his kids and himself. Well that's what he wanted other ninja to think but in truth he was protecting himself. Well at least she was away from him and from that desert. This was her original birth place so she had been told and she found the rainy foliage to be welcoming.

Tabitha had 5 tattoos, and she designed them herself. At the age of 13 she decided to get her first tattoo after becoming a Genin. A simple music note on her left wrist was all she got. then as time went by she wanted another tattoo. That was when she got a black rose on her left hip for her 14 birthday. A month later she got a tattoo on her right ankle of the Jashin symbol. The only reason she wore the necklace and had the symbol on her body was because it was in memory of her mother and father. She may not remember them but had been told they were amazing ninja and even better parents.

She then proceeded to get a phoenix on the back of her neck which spread onto a portion of her back and shoulders. It was more of a mural than a tattoo. It was colorful and it was quite painful. Then six days before she came to Konoha High she got a tramp stamp right between her back dimples. Her tramp stamp was her clans symbol. As well as her tattoo's she has many piercings as well. She has her tongue, belly button, nose, cartilage, and her ears pierced. Her ears were pierced three times. She had done all of her piercings by herself much to Temari's dismay.

With all of this she had long wavy hair that went down to her hips. Her hair is a platinum blond and was up in a messy bun. She hardly ever left her hair down unless she was sleeping or in the shower. She looked over at Temari and Kankuro, who were now bickering over who was stronger: Tsunade or Jiraya. Tabitha sighed and tuned them out. She thought about what school would be like. She knew it would be big. and there would be many people with many talents and abilities. She began to wonder what life would be like now that she was away from Suna, unfortunately this lead to not seeing the rock and she fell flat on her face sending dust flying into the air. Kankuro was cracking jokes about her while Temari laughed while helping her up. She growled at them while she dusted herself off and shook off Temari's helping hand. When Kankuro made a joke about 'getting a good view' she hiked her skirt down with more force than necessary. She changed from an honest blush to about fifty different shades of red.

Tabitha hated what she was wearing. She had on the girls uniform for Konoha high. It consisted of a short plaid skirt with knee high socks and black flats. She had a black button up shirt that was short on her so it showed her belly a little. She also had a tie that completed the hated this outfit with a passion. She had requested to wear the boys uniform but the school forbid her to wear it. So now she was stuck in a short skirt no less. A man had designed this outfit. There was no other way around that fact. Not even a slut would wear this to school. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself_. _She wasn't as pretty as all of the other girls...In fact she normally was over looked. Weather it was because of her being shy or the fact her eyes changed colors normal eyes shouldn't or for some other reason she didn't know.

When Konoha came into view Tabitha smiled. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. She looked at the gates that had the seals on its doors to keep intruders out. She noticed the three ninja by the gate. One leaning against the gate and the other two behind this desk. When they finally reached that gate she found out the one who had been leaning against the gate, when in fact he was asleep, was our guide to the school. Shikamaru was his name. He had jet black hair pulled back into a pineapple shaped ponytail. A Jounin vest on over a black fish net shirt and black pants plus a slouch in his walk. A very lazy man indeed.

They were led back out of the gates and into the woods. She wondered why they hadn't put the school in the village but when she asked he explained that there was not enough room in the village. They had to have entire school building with just classrooms, plus the extra dorm buildings surrounding that, as well as the training grounds and the gym, plus the pool and hot springs. Then after about 15 minutes of walking and this guy saying troublesome a thousand times they finally reached the building. The building was bigger than she thought. So much bigger. She had no clue how she was going to find her way around the building. There were three ANBU members 'guarding' the door. When they got closer she realized they were playing poker. She rolled her eyes and kept walking along with the other three just as the sun had started to rise, when at last they pushed their way through the buildings doors.


	3. Chapter 2

**~Disclaimer~**

Roses are **R**ed  
Violets are **B**lue  
I don't own **N**aruto  
So you can't **S**ue =D

However, I do own Tabitha and any other ideas that aren't related to the anime.

* * *

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION: must read!!!!!!! DONT SKIP IT THIS MESSAGE DAMNIT!**

The next chapter wont come until I have at least 40 reviews. Write them. Even if you think it was crappy. This my very first time writing a story so give me all the advice you can! Flame me, or whatever you want just give me some kind of feedback.

~TJD41066~

* * *

Chapter Two:  
New people.

The group had finally reached the building and pushed open the heavy wooden doors.

After walking down any hallways and turning many corners in silence they reached the main office. The windows were glass as were the doors. Inside the glass room was a tall long desk with a woman behind it. The woman behind the counter was tall and skinny. She had thick glasses and short grey hair that barely touched her shoulders. Her roots were white showing she was at least in her 50's or 60's and if that didn't prove it her wrinkles would. Her eyes were a grayish brown and she had covered her face in make up to the point where no skin was showing. Her desk was completely clean and everything was labeled and color coded. All of the papers in the recycling bin were lined up and the garbage can was spotless.

The woman looked up at the group with a smile. "Your the new students, correct?" Shikamaru nodded. "Well then Nara get back to class. Which one of you is Heyon-sama?" she asked as she started towards a pile of books. Tabitha hated being formally called by her last name. Since Tabitha didn't answer Kankuro did for her. He pointed and said "This shorty. And call her Tabitha. She doesn't like being formal."

Sadly the woman must have been not listening, because she called her Heyon-sama again. Tabitha sighed and walked over to the table where she sat in a plushed chair. The woman coughed and began speaking.

"We-well Heyon-sama this is you schedule and your planner" said the woman handing Tabitha a paper and a book that was as fat as her head."In the planner are all the rules and regulations for this school. You are expected to read every last one of them and you are to carry this to each and every single one of your classes except gym." She paused and then continued "And these are you books for your courses this year." she pointed to the pile of at least twenty books. Tabitha couldn't help but sigh in irritation. She had let the Kazekage sign her up for her classes and she began to wonder if that had been a safe choice.

"Now a few things you should know about Konoha high: You are to be in Homeroom at 7:30 the school day lasts for roughly 7 and a half hours not counting free period or lunch. The work out room is open 24 hours 7 days a week. We have 3 lunch periods a day and you are free to attend which ever you please. You are allowed to leave campus but you have to be back by 10:00 P.M. sharp on school nights. No excuses. As for the weekend we don't care as long as your back in time for school Monday. When you are away on missions all of your make-up work sent to your dorm room for you. When you come back from any mission you are always given at least a day to rest and catch up on work and sleep. You may receive more days depending on the mission and your health when arriving back on campus. You will need clothes for Gym by tomorrow. Tsunade wanted me to remind you since you were interested in becoming a Jounin she would like a future meeting for you to see if you are fit for to began the exam after just becoming a Chunin. She also wants me to remind you that at this school we do not tolerate-" the old woman was cut off by Tabitha.

"I can read the rules myself. Thank you very much for taking the time to explain them to me but I am very tired and would like to unpack and rest before I have to start classes tomorrow. Having to travel with Kankuro takes it toll" There was a deep growl coming from behind her. The woman looked surprised but smiled and nodded in understanding.

Tabitha's plastered a fake smile on her face. She was bored out of her mind standing here waiting for this woman to shut up. She wanted to strangle her, but she wanted to find her dorm,drop of her books off, and then train even more. She wasn't tired at all but she needed an excuse to get out of this room and away from Kankuro and Temari.

The woman smiled and told Tabitha to get headed to her dorm room for a good night's rest."All of you things have been already brought to your room for you. You have two dorm members in the room with you, so I am sure you want to go meet them." then she spun around and said "Now you two are a different story. This will take a while so I suggest you both get comfortable. Heyon-sama you are free to go." And with that said Tabitha left in swirl of black rose petals taking all her books, her schedule and her planner.(which she planned on burning at some point today.)

_Tabitha's Pov:_

"_Why me?_" I thought to myself. I looked down at my schedule getting more pissed off.

_Room 3940_

_Building F_

_Roomates: Hinata; __Tenten_

I have been looking for my dorm room for the past hour. Then I noticed there were at least 7 buildings labled F. Today was my first day at Konoha High and I couldn't even find my dorm room. What a drag. "_Maybe Temari or Kankuro will finish up early and help me" _I thought. I sighed "_That's not likely...What are they even doing anyway?"_

I was thinking about what I was going to do when suddenly I walked around the corner and some idiot ran into me. Not only ran into me but fucking RAN ME OVER! We both fell over, books went flying in every direction.

"Hey! Watch where your going." the blond boy yelled.

I balled my hands into fists and gritted my teeth trying to calm down. I didn't say anything because I knew if I did I would end up most likely in a fight. Not a good move for my first day so, silently I started to pick up my books. I glanced at him through my lashes. He had blond spiky hair, his eyes were a baby blue that reminded me of the sky, he had whisker marks on his face, and his build was....well....lets say it was better than decent. He was skinny and he was really good looking...BUT HE STILL WAS A FUCKING IDIOT!!!

After I got a good look at him I made myself look away. I didn't want to have more problems on my first day. Too troublesome already. He started to pick up his books as well.. I heard him sigh and then he reached out for my book the same time I did. I pulled away and let him grab it. He sat up and held my book out toward me and then he looked me full in the face.

"Your...really...._hot...."_ He muttered. He sounded shocked to see what I looked like. I heard his little comment and even I was shocked. His angry expression changed into a giant goofy smile. He changed his tone of voice "Hey _Cutie_ do you need some help? You look a little lost there." He kept smiling that big goofy grin at me._(That dumb smile he always gives Sakura.)_

"It's Tabitha." I said quietly. I grabbed my book out of his hand but he snatched it back and held it away from me. I was getting angry and I was just about to hit him when he laughed. He brought his face inches away from mine. i could feel myself blush. I had never been this close to a boy before. I felt my stomach turning in knots. I could feel his breath tickle my face and it smelled like mint toothpaste and...RAMEN!?! The smell of ramen was making me hungry considering I hadn't eaten since yesterday morning. I was to busy training to think about eating(_ If you haven't noticed I like to train)._ I stood up and left him on the floor while putting my head down and tried to get rid of the blush. He got up after a few seconds and that's when I also noticed he was taller than me. Why does everybody have to be taller than me? What a drag man.

"You said your name was Tabitha, right?" he looked at me as if waiting for me to do something. I looked up but I didn't feel like answering or do anything else, so he then continued "Well, my name is Naruto Uzumki and I'm gonna be the next Hokage! BELIEVE IT!"

Well I didn't know what to say to that so I continued to be quiet. I couldn't_ 'believe it.'_ This kid was beyond stupid. How did he even make it to high school? I mean, what the hell was with this kid?!?! I wanted to hit him. No I wanted to beat the shit out of him just because not only was he stupid but he really pissed me off. My stomach apparently had other ideas and loudly grumbled. AND HE WAS THE ONE WHO MADE ME HUNGRY!!! Not only that but he said I was cute....I've never been told that since- I cut off my thoughts before they went any farther. Thinking about things like that didn't do me any good.

"Dobe" I spun around towards the deep voice and came face-to-chest with a raven haired boy. The blond boy heard what he said and was yelling at the taller boy. I turned my attention back to the raven haired boy and saw him chuckle at something the blond had said. He ignored the other boy and looked down at me. He had to look down. Again. DAMN BEING SHORT TO HELL!

I took in all the details of him. I looked at his muscles that were noticeable under his uniform. "_Well you did just walk into his chest. Hard not to notice them."_ His skin was pale and looked soft and smooth, like porcelain almost, but you could tell it was hard and firm at the same time. The tie around his neck was loose and the top button of his shirt was undone showing some type of chain around his neck. His raven hair was a so blue it looked black, in the light, though, you could see some dark blue. His perfect face held no emotion. His lips looked like they were hand carved to perfection. He was toe curling,drop dead,drool-worthy sexy! And if that wasn't enough his eyes were an black! I felt like they could see me down to the core of my being.

I had made sure to keep my face blank when I looked at him. I didn't want any emotion to show through the walls I had built to keep people out. When I was just about to turn away from him I noticed an emotion cross his face. But then it disappeared only lingering in his eyes for the few moments I held his gaze. His eyes were staring back at me, full of amusement, now of course I didn't understand why he was amused. When I tried to figure it out I realized we had people looking at us. Damn those eyes! They made me completely forget my surroundings. I didn't want to look at this beautiful boy anymore. Why couldn't I be that beautiful? Hell, why couldn't I be remotely beautiful? I sighed.

I turned my attention back to the blond haired boy that still had my book. Silently I walked over, grabbed the book and kept walking without looking back. I could hear the blond telling me to stop. I once again sighed but kept walking. That's when I heard him running up to me. I stopped because he was yelling and screaming. He had caught up to me and was talking about something. I heard the words _date_ and _ramen_, but I didn't catch anything else. I was to busy looking at something else. Well someone.

I tried to walk past this person praying he wouldn't notice me but as I walked away I felt a hand grab mine.


	4. Chapter 3

~Disclaimer~

I don't own Naruto.

If I owned it all Akatsuki would be living in Konoha and there wold be lots of lemon and yaoi and lots of other good stuff.

However I do own Tabitha and any other ideas that aren't related to the anime, So please don't copy! =D

* * *

_**Thanks to Mangamoo1 for all the help with editing and helping with other things as well.**_

_**Forgive the spelling and grammar. **__**Give me feedback. Flames are totally welcome as well as anyting else. As long as there are no spammed url's I don't really give a damn.** :)_

**_~TJD41066~_**

* * *

**Full Summary: **

Tabitha was a Heyon clan member that was sent off to live with the sand trio, due to the fact that her entire clan was wiped off the face of the earth with no trace who they were killed by. After the incident she lost all her memories of the past. Her memories had been hidden away to the point that not even Ibiki could get into the recedes of her mind. After much deliberating with the council the 3rd Hokage sent her off to Suna to live with the legendary sand trio and the Kazeakage. After a year Gaara gets Tabitha to open up and he finds out that her nightmares may be something more. The grew closer over the next few years until the night his uncle tried to kill him. Tabitha tried to help and comfort Gaara but he turned her own memories and own trust in him against her. Gaara ran away that night and he took not only himself but her soul as well. Five years later she moves to Konoha with Kankuro & Temari. When Akatsuki takes interest in her what will come to be? Will she ever be able to understand why the things that happen, happen?

WARNINGS: Lemons; yaoi and yuri; Character Deaths; language; and much more.

**_

* * *

_**

**_~Last time~_**

_**Tabitha Pov**_

_We had gotten maybe ten feet from where we had been when I felt a cold hand grab mine..._

_

* * *

_

_**Chapter Two  
Tabitha's First Day  
Part 2**_

I turned around and there he was.

The person I had avoided thinking about for the past five years.

"_Gaara_..." My breath hitched as his name slipped past my lips. My body trembled and I felt odd. Just saying his name made my heart clench. His name felt so odd rolling of my tongue. Like a new language that hadn't been learned by any other person alive. I knew that it was truly because I hadn't said his name since _that _day. I felt my eyes water as I thought about the past times when he and I were younger. My emotions were a whiz. I was so confused, for I thought that I hated him, But I felt something completely different.

In these five years since he had left me in the middle of the desert I never let anyone close to me besides Kankuro and Temari and even then we are so distant. I don't know what makes me distance myself from others but in the single moment I saw Gaara those walls I had so desperately built to keep people out crumpled down without a fight. I let him in without looking back. My walls, my pathetically built walls, were broken once again and now the feelings that I had blocked away seeped through. They came like a tidal wave as if a dam had broke and my emotions were the water that came billowing out. The sadness of losing him, The hurt because of what he had said to me, The pure rage for what he did, and other emotions that were not quite as clear. But one thing I did notice:

I never realized how much I _missed _him over these five years. I always felt empty. Like I was missing something and here he was. He wasn't all I was missing though. When I saw him it clicked into place and I finally found part of what I needed. But not all of it.

The first person to ever accept me after what happened was him. I never thought I would miss that stupid sand gourd on his back. I noticed it didn't look nearly as big as it did from when I remember. I never thought I would miss that little teddy bear he carried and his terrible sense of humor. I never thought I would miss his eyebrow less face.(Authors note: They are there but they are really blond. And if it wasn't for the One-Tailed Shukaku all of his hair would be a flaming blond...That would look weird on him though) After what he had said and had done what he did I thought I would have hated him but I just now realized that I could never hate him. Yes I could _loath_ what he _did_ but I could never hate _him_. He was...I could never bring myself to hate his entity. He was something so important to me.

I looked up at him and when our eyes met the rage I had inside me dissolved and retreated into the back of my pained heart. I noticed that he looked comfortable in his uniform despite the situation. His tie was lose and his shirt un-tucked. His jacket un-zipped and hanging open. His sea-foam eyes outlined in black circles from the lack of sleep I was positive he got. I sighed and looked down away from his face, feeling the tears brim behind my hidden lashes.

I pulled my hand out of his and slowly backed away letting my hand fall limp at my side, my head hung down like a deflating balloon. I wasn't ready to forgive him. I couldn't face it. My entire body felt heavy from the guilt but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I knew he would have a face that would burn into my memory and haunt me at night when I was weak and powerless to do anything against my fears. His face would be one that was full of hurt, sadness, and pain. I was unsure of what I should do. Should I forgive him now or wait? But before I even thought the question I already knew the answer. I needed time. Not much but enough to gather strength and to harness my emotions. In time I would come to forgive him but for now he had to wait. I had to gather a few pieces together before he would be allowed to be close to me once again.


End file.
